Why were you cooking toast? Wouldnt you be toasting toast? Better question.. Why was your face directly above the toaster? Also, unless your toaster was custom-machined from the infrastucture of a grenade launcher, i dont see why toast would have launched at you. But truely a cacophonous event none the less.
I guess now you'll have to order Dragon Voice recognition software to chat with us..
http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/112724097/dragon+voice+recognition+software?tab=summary
a) Cooking imo implies heating something enough to burn it, but not burn it too much. Toasting toast just sounds strange anyways :p!
b) I was looking into it directly because I wanted to see if you could see a magical realm of imagination in there. That's what the voices inside my head are telling me at least.
c) On a serious note, I have actually had burnt toast flick in my eye before, it hurts like fuck. I don't know what's up with my toaster, but the power of the spring makes the toast stop violently, which in turn makes the fragile parts of the toast (the burnt bits) fly off. Maybe everyday toasters are less violent, but it seems like mine
wants to flick pieces of burnt toast into the eyes of passers-by. It's a rebel to society, fucking up the world one piece of toast at a time.
d) cacophonous. WAT!
e) Voice regonition sucks,
and I wouldn't want you to hear my welsh accent. You'd laugh at me! 
D'OH
Omg I hope this is a bad 1 april joke...
Good news my dearest duswat! ... It is!
If I really had gone blind I wouldn't have even bothered posting it on this forum because you are all douchebags. (april foooooooools!)
also, happy April Fools day!
VC-MP: 
