The Counselor and
Killing them softlyBoth those films can easily be described to full extend by just two simple words:
FUCKING SHITBoth, the tale of a lawyer getting involved in drug deals just at the very wrong time and the story about how three dumb guys and a hired killer fuck each other over share the property of being movies that were entirely just created for the sole purpose of some single short scenes, a thing that happens way too much in nowadays productions.
It's like the director had two or three independent scenes in his mind, which he thought were so frigging cool that they had to be used in a movie, and just tried to glue some shit together around those scenes so it maybe gets close to something that would pass as a film.
Basically, in both movies the plot is non-existent. There are people, and they certainly interact. But you always have the feeling like anything that happens is completely unmotivated and has nothing to do with the actual story,
although it is the fucking story.The main character of The Counselor, referred to by the name [SPOILER] 'Counselor', is the most unmotivated and uninfluenced character i have ever seen. He basically does not do anything the whole movie long. He just talks to people, then again talks to people, then you see other people talking, stuff happens somewhere else with other people, then he again talks to people. He is also the only survivor at the end, while even his wife gets killed who was actually a side character so off to the side she almost could be labeled a bit-part player.
The Counselor will definitely leave you with the impression that anything in this universe had been made into a film already and there was just not enough left in the world to show to people to make this an interesting, original movie.
Partly same goes for Killing them softly. Here the whole plot is totally unmotivated, shit just happens without any reasoning you could get behind. The characters are not identifiable, there's no-one to feel with, nothing to understand, no thoughts to look behind. To be fair the first like ten minutes of this movie had a ridiculous ammount of potential to be evolved into a very, very good movie, but as you keep watching you just sit there and see every last opportunity to make this into an enjoyable film crumble and fall down into pieces on the floor leaving the story so flat as an moth on a ferrari windshield on the highway.
I am giving both movies -1/10 and i certainly do not recommend any of them, except if you want to see cameron diaz *[SPOILER]* then watch the counselor but you will regret it if you do.
Now for one of the more pleasant:
Lone RangerI do not generally like the western genre, i've barely seen any that would've impressed me so far, except for Once Upon A Time In The West, yet i certainly liked any movie with Johnny Depp i ever saw, mainly because Johnny Depp's german voice actor has like the most epic voice ever. So i was sceptic at first, but all doubts were gone at the exact second i first saw Johnnyboy, because he acts his role so awesomly like no-one else ever barely could.
It's basically a story about a lawyer and an comanche (i think it was some comanche indian idk anymore for certain but it doesn't matter rly) meet by pure coincidence on a train crash and further come to fight together (after some small but hilarious inconviniences) against greedy silver miners/bandits/train owners. Some of you may still know the old series 'Lone Ranger', on which's story this movie is loosely based but tells a whole new thing but in an awesomely hilarious manner.
Do you remember those awesome classic action movies that don't really take themselves serious and overflow of epic punchlines one after another throughout the entire storyline? This is exactly like on of them - only better!
Of course, what you can expect here is not your classical italo western, it is to all extends a pure action movie. Not stupid shit like Cowboys vs Aliens. One of those action movies where the plot actually
makes sense. One of those action movies that actually
develop their characters. Where you can dive into the feels and reasonings of the characters so deep it almost gets indecent. An awesome movie.
Yes, you can expect Michael Bay physics, although it was produced by Disney. And yes the characters should've *died from that* so often but they didn't. And no, that horse can't actually fly even if it rly looks like it could. But all of this adds to the absolute hilarity that makes this film a must-watch.
After Disney had pulled off some unworthy shit earlier this is easily one of the best movies i have ever seen, and i cannot give it anything less than a 11/10 and i'm absolutely recommending every stranger i ever meet to go watch that movie right on the spot.
Wreck-It RalphAnother very good Didney movie, but this time copmuter animated. Ofc. It had to be. Why? Well...
Wreck-It Ralph has a very, very original concept and i mean that. It allows our generation of spineless couchpotato gamer pussies to take a look at the behind the sc(re)enes of our favourite computer game characters and learn about how they actually live and feel when we don't just see them
(no, it's not a TRON sequel, gtfo)
The story is evolving around Wreck-It Ralph, the video game villain of the Retro Jump 'n' Run game 'Fix-It Felix Junior'. Ralph, who has been destroying stuff and been thrown off of house roofs every single day since the start of his game 30 years ago, is sick of his job and sees no perspective in his life. All he rly wants is getting a medal just like Felix, the good guy of the game, who wins medals every day and has a lot of friends.
Finally, as Ralph was not invited to the 30th anniversary of Fix-It Felix Junior, he looses his patience and leaves his game to win a medal in another game of the arcade he lives in. Expectedly, he isn't rly that well in other games, and as the arcade opens on the next day and suddenly the Fix-It Felix Junior game has no villain anymore, shit really starts to hit the fan.
Seriously to all extends this is a true disney movie. Like you would expect it. That intense use of feels, all aboard the feels train, making use of every single aspect to transport feelings the film industry has ever known, coupled with an out-of-control ammount of videogame references and ground breaking special moves action, makes this by far a movie as qlt and classic as the old disney cartoons were.
I promise you will never again see video games with the same eyes after watching this.
Actually, this is the best movie i've seen this year, and i can't do else but give it a 12/10. Go watch it now!
@*#?%!
