Littlewhitey's Jokes Cafe!

[Usmanulamin]

Lol Amiel

Here's one from my side.

Wife: Can you help me in garden??

Husband: What do you think, I'm Gardener..??

Wife: Can you fix door handle??

Husband: What do you think, I'm a Carpenter..??

In the Evening when husband came from the work, He saw everything has been fixed..!!

He asked: Who fixed this..??

Wife: "Our Neighbor but he gave me 2 options..!!

Either I should give him burger or a kiss..!!"

Husband: I'm sure you must have given a burger..!!

Wife: What do You think, I'm McDonald's..?

[Freak]

LMFAO!

[Usmanulamin]

Last Sunday was my Birthday, My wife, parents & kids didn't wish me, I was really sad.

I went to work, my friends didn't wish me.

As i entered my cabin, my Secretary said "Happy birthday boss!"

I felt special,

she asked me for lunch, after lunch she invited me to her apartment,

There she said "Do you mind if i go to my bedroom for a minute?"

"Okay" I said nervously...

She came out few minutes later with a large cake,

followed by my wife, parents, kids, friends, everyone Shouting Happy Birthday!

& I was sitting there,
.
.
.
.
NAKED..!!

[Sk]

haha old one but good
and i heard the same joke on reply # 15 but it was Baking Cake and Sex ;p

[ArHizBlizz]

A few days ago, Japan Prime Minister Mori was given some basic conversation training in English before he visited Washington and met US President Barack Obama.

The instructor said to Mori, "When you shake hand with US President Obama, please say 'how are you. Then Mr Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?'.

Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, the translators, will do the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is:-

When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said "Who are you?" (Instead of 'How are you?).
Mr Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:"Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha."

Then Mr Mori replied, "me too, ha-ha."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
[lol]

[[CoKe]CoLa]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

[NAYÆŽM]

do u guys want to see joke?

go in front of mirror and u will se.e joke xD

[Usmanulamin]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

I see what you did there

[Puranjay]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

I didn't got the joke : /

[Quickplay]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

I didn't got the joke : /

you've just said it for the third time 

[Usmanulamin]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

I didn't got the joke : /

you've just said it for the third time 

You be the forth one lol

[Sk]

Lol amiel, your post finally got my lips curling after a long list from...usman.

Here's a joke.

Yea. You got the joke right? I've already said it twice.

I didn't got the joke : /

you've just said it for the third time 

You be the forth one lol

He didn't

[Usmanulamin]

    Once four Engineering students were partying till late night and didn't study. For the test which was scheduled for the next day.

    In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

    The Dean was a Just person so he said that you can have a retest after three days. They said they were ready.

    On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition all four were required to be in separate rooms for the test.

    They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days.

    The test consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.

    Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)

    Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks)

[KaMRaN]

Well, I left VCMP some days ago and didn't come on server or on forum. But today, I read all these. So before saying all of you a goodbye!.. I have a joke!

Two guys raped a girl and get caught by police

Policeman asked both of them to go separately and bring a fruit or a vegetable.
One guy returned first and he had apple in his hand.
Policeman asked him to put it in his ass so he will feel how much girl was hurt.
He put it inside and started crying. As the another guy came, he started laughing immediately.
Policeman said, "What happened? You started laughing immediately while crying."
The first guy said, "He got lemons in his hands.."

GOODBYE EVERYONE ))

[Mahrozulamin]

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too…’